Top 10 choices of Concealing Your Fart At Work

Okay, we should all admit it. We’ve all done it rather we want to confess to it or not. We’ve all farted at work. For some people, it was intentional, and for others, not so much. Sometimes you can’t help it and it comes out anyway. Either way, it can be downright embarrassing, especially if it was in front of your higher-ups. Perhaps you're aiming for that raise. You've been so diligent and then one day, in the break room, you rip one, they give you a look of disgust and all you want to do is hide under your desk and never be seen again.
But don’t fret!

Here are the Top Ten Choices on concealing your next fart at work.

1. If you can, move away from it.

Let’s say you’re near the water fountain when you rip one. You didn’t mean to, it just happened. You can always walk away from the scene of the crime. This is what some people call “crop dusting." The glory in it is that if done correctly, you're doing two things: you're leaving the area so that it's hard to pin the blame on you and you're also "thinning" out the smell. Hopefully, the odor will disperse in time so that no one around you even knows that it happened.

2. Fart while surrounded by others.

There’s power in numbers when it comes to laying a stinky one in a crowd. Maybe you’re having a meeting, and everyone is within close proximity. If you happen to rip one in the middle of the group, put on your best poker face and act like you're discovering this foul odor for the first time like everyone else. Everyone will look around for the culprit but because no one is coming forward, there’s no one to blame. The smell will eventually go away, and business will continue as normal. Congratulations, you’ve fooled everyone (but yourself).

3. Conceal it with a more pleasant smell.

If you work in close proximity with others and happen to fart, you may not be able to completely conceal the smell, but you can at least mix it up with something that smells better. The most obvious option would be to use an air freshener. Lucky for you if you have access to one. If not, grab the perfume or body spray from your bag. Don’t go too heavy; one or two sprits will do. If you don’t have that, then grab some gum, candy, or a mint. After letting it melt a little in your mouth, lightly exhale around you and let the sweet smell slowly take over. You can also do this with a flavored or scented chapstick.

4. Go to the bathroom.

Sometimes you’re lucky enough to know that a fart is coming. If you’re blessed with this warning, do yourself (and your coworkers) a favor and take it to the bathroom. Not only did you avoid the embarrassment and anxiety of dealing with farting in public, but you also get to take a break. Take your phone while you’re at it. Take a breather. Play a game, check your social media, and thank your body for the warning.

5. If you’re alone, just let it out.

Working alone can be lonely, but when you've got to fart, it can be the most relieving thing in the world. It can make those late shifts into the wee hours of the morning that much easier because you don't have to worry about anyone coming around and smelling your embarrassment. You don't even have to be completely alone to relate to number five. If you've got a nice distance between you and your coworkers (or customers), just let it out. Hopefully, it's not a loud one!

6. Do it near something loud or make a noise.

If you’re on your feet for the entirety of your work shift, consider getting yourself to a place where there’s enough noise to cover your fart and blow it out there. If there’s a copier going, casually stand near it, do your business, and then walk away. Nearby construction work can be a total headache but can create the perfect place to let loose that fart you can't contain. If you're not lucky enough to have a conveniently placed noise while you fart, then make your own. The tried and true option is to cough or sneeze when you do it. Syncing them together can be difficult, but if you have no choice then just do it.

 

7. Go to work prepared for farting.

If you’ve had something with beans or spinach in it for breakfast and you know you’re going to be gassy at work, go in prepared. Take some spray with you to work. Toss that bottle of perfume into your bag. Take some candy or breath fresheners with you. Take regular bathroom breaks, especially if you need to use the bathroom. As gross as it sounds, relieving yourself will also relieve you of built up pressure.

8. If you know you’ll be gassy, consider reducing the probability of farting.

Alongside preparing for a gassy day at work, you can also prepare yourself by taking some …internal precautions. Pick up some antacids on your way to work. They help to reduce the acid in your stomach, which helps to reduce the potential for gassy build up in your body. Some people swear by putting some cayenne pepper into the water and drinking the contents slowly. Consuming ginger has also been used by some to help with gas.

Throughout the day, keep yourself from adding to the gassy feeling. If possible, don’t eat anything with foods like beans, spinach, prunes, peas, Brussel sprouts, apricots, and asparagus in it. Starches, kinds of pasta, and certain grains can also add to the buildup.

9. Clench those cheeks!

You may be able to avoid a fart coming out if you’re able to clench your cheeks in time. But sometimes the buildup is so bad, that it still leaks out. That’s the point of clenching your cheeks – you’re letting it out a little at a time. The good thing about this is that it reduces the overall smell. You may even be able to keep others from noticing the smell altogether because it begins to disappear just as quickly as it begins to come. This can work especially well if you have a chair that's got a pillow cushion.

It should be noted that if you’re able to spread your cheeks a little more than usual, this can also help. It’s the opposite of clenching as you’re allowing it to have maximum exposure, which will (hopefully) make it disperse a lot sooner. The problem with this is that it’s very difficult to do this without someone noticing. And if you’re alone, you may as well just go back to number five.

 

10. Just own it

Truth be told, we all have bodies, so we know how remarkable and at times disgusting they can be. You can always take the high road and own your fart. Apologize to those around you, and then make some effort to remove the odor. Walk from the area, or fan it away from everyone. Some people may be disgusted, but others will appreciate your honesty. Heck, you may even realize that your boss isn’t as worried about such things and that’s one less thing for you to stress out about when at work. We’re not saying that you should be careless and just break wind in front of them whenever! But you don’t have to go out of your way and be embarrassed about it or make such a big deal over it in the future. We’re all human. Accidents happen.

Top 10 choices of weird musical genres

1. Protest songs and music

Protest music refers to a genre that's sung throughout protests. The genre 1st appeared within the Nineteen Sixties once it skint removed from folks rock. The lyrics continually revolve around problems like civil rights, world peace, and different political considerations.

“Eve of Destruction,” AN anti-war song that helped to solidify the genre, reached favorite on the U.S.A. hoarding Hot one hundred. however it absolutely was therefore polemical that it absolutely was severally prohibited by many radio stations.[10]

Most of the protest songs that followed the success of “Eve of Destruction” criticized the United States’ involvement within the Vietnam War. additional protest songs followed because the U.S. government dedicated additional troops and resources to the war. This wasn't helped by the very fact that increasing numbers of troopers were dying at the front.

Protest music began to decline in 1968. Some say that the musicians and their fans got uninterested in singing concerning the war. Others shared Phil Ochs’s resignation in “The War is Over,” that was his last song concerning the Vietnam War. Former President Richard Nixon’s suppression of anti-war movements might are another conducive issue.

2. Nintendocore

Nintendocore is what you get when you merge the background music in Nintendo video games with hard-core punk. These styles of music should be incompatible because they appeal to different kinds of people. The music in Nintendo games is usually innocuous with playful melodies while hard-core punk is aggressive with lots of screaming.

Nintendocore music is almost always about Nintendo games. Bands will often piggyback on the success of Nintendo games and even title their songs after them. This is why we have tunes with names like “Contra” and “Double Dragon.” There is another song created around the popular Super Mario and an entire album created around Pokemon.

Nintendocore was founded by Horse the band and has two forms today. The first involves bands that prefer leaving the music as it was originally used in the Nintendo game. The second includes bands that will alter and add their own instrumentals to the music used in the Nintendo game.

And yes... an unusaual pickfor Ninentendocore, but the video is just so damn funny.

3. Vegetables

Musicians haven’t agreed on the name for this genre yet, so we’ll just go with “vegetables.” This musical style was founded by the Vegetable Orchestra, a group that has perfected the art of using vegetables as musical instruments.

The Vegetable Orchestra created the genre in 1998 after brainstorming about which difficult equipment they could use to make music. They were cooking soup that night anyway, so it made sense that they thought of vegetables. Their musical style is influenced by experimental, electronic, and pop music.

4. Wizardrock

Wizard rock is modeled after J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter. Bands in the genre even stylize their names after characters that appear in the novels and films. Popular groups include Harry and the Potters, Draco and the Malfoys, and Remus and the Lupins. Some others are called The Whomping Willows, The Mudbloods, and The Moaning Myrtles.

Wizard Rock was founded by Harry and the Potters, which was formed by brothers Paul and Joe DeGeorge in 2002. The brothers created the genre to lighten up a show happening in their home. Paul acted as Harry Potter in his seventh year at Hogwarts, while Joe acted as the fourth-year version of Harry Potter. According to the brothers, Harry Potter traveled to the past to form a band with himself.

There are no defined rules about what qualifies as wizard rock. Everything goes provided there is a wizardly touch in the song or band. Groups may sing about the entire Harry Potter series, the experiences of specific characters only, anything that happened in the wizarding world, or just about their fans.

Some wizard rock bands have used their songs to dis politicians. One such song is “Cornelius Fudge is an Ass” by Harry and the Potters. Initially, it was directed at former President George W. Bush, US government officials, and the media.

5. Low-Fi

Although the lo-fi music genre started as far back as the 1950s, it gained steam in the 1970s when musicians who could not afford standard music equipment began recording their songs with homemade equipment in makeshift studios. The result were substandard songs filled with background noise and unbalanced instrumentals. Some instrumentals were too loud while others were too weak.

6. Muzak, also known as elevatormusic

Music in the background genre is passive and not for entertainment. It is intended to prevent listeners from getting bored or to keep their minds engaged. Elevator music was used to make listeners forget the concept of time while they were inside elevators. The genre arose after people started complaining that the elevators were too slow.[6]

While the elevators of that time were slower than today’s vertical tranports, they were not as poky as the riders complained. Elevator companies quickly realized that speeding up their equipment would make no difference because people would still grumble that their rides were too slow. So companies added music to occupy the minds of riders and make them forget the concept of time.

Elevator music was removed during the 1960s and ’70s when people grew tired of it. So how do elevator companies keep people unaware of the time these days? They replaced the music with mirrors. Obviously, people will be more concerned with their looks than how much time they spend in elevators.

7. Unblack Metal

Unblack metal (aka Christian black metal) is the opposite of black metal. While black metal is known for its controversial, satanic, and lewd lyrics, unblack metal is renowned for its religious lyrics. It is used to pass pro-Christian messages using beats and the music style synonymous with black metal. Just think of Christian gospel music sung in black metal style.

Ordinarily, it should be impossible for Christian black metal to exist. One of the characteristics of black metal is its anti-religious nature, especially toward Christianity. Some of the bands in the genre realize this, which is why they called it “unblack metal.” While controversial in its own right, unblack metal is a small genre with only a few active bands

8. Hokum Blues

Hokum blues is basically blues music with sexual overtones. The genre was popular in the US in the 1920s and ’30s, especially during Prohibition. At the time, there was a general belief that only people who engaged in sex, gambling, or other questionable activities kept late nights.

Musicians and bands often sang about sex, prostitution, and homosexuality using metaphors and wordplay. This allowed them to openly sing dirty songs that were only understood by people who paid close attention. Some popular titles included “He Likes it Slow,” “I Want a Hot-Dog in my Roll,” “Banana in Your Fruit Basket,” “Warm My Wiener,” “Tight Like That,” “Lonesome Daddy,” “Bull Dyke".

One of the most controversial songs in the genre was “My Sweet Petunia” by Lucille Bogan (aka Bessie Jackson). “Petunia” is the name of a colorful flower, but it doubles as slang for labia.

Lucille was also explicit in her choice of words, using lyrics like: “I got nipples on my titties, big as my thumb, got something ‘tween my legs’ll make a dead man come.” Some of her songs created moral panic in the 1980s, and they usually carry a PG warning these days.

9. Jihadi Nasheed

Jihadi nasheed is a music genre synonymous with radical Islamic terrorist groups like Al-Qaeda and the Islamic State. Songs in the genre always have radical and violent lyrics promoting the ideology and activities of these groups or glorifying their founders.

Jihadi nasheed is an offshoot of nasheed, a musical genre that celebrates Islam and the worship of Allah. Nasheeds have no overtones of violence, propaganda, or radicalism and are common in Muslim countries. Jihadi nasheeds first rose to prominence in the 1970s when groups wanting to overthrow the governments of Egypt and Syria created violent songs to support their stance.

Today, almost every Islamic militant group creates jihadi nasheeds for their terrorism campaigns. Most of the time, they create these songs by changing the lyrics of older and more popular nasheeds. The Islamic State took it to new levels by creating a music department to create jihadi nasheeds for its use.

10. Narcocorrido

Narcocorrido is a Mexican music genre that glorifies drug lords and related crimes. The genre is controversial and has been banned by the Mexican government. Its lyrics are often about the history of the drug lords as well as their arrests, operations, deaths, battles, and even the times that they’ve been betrayed.

Narcocorrido first appeared in the 1970s before going mainstream in the 1990s. Musicians often focus on cartels that get the most media coverage. So the more the cartel’s crimes make the news, the more musicians honor these criminals in their songs. However, narcocorrido musicians usually avoid excessive glorification of the drug lords and cartels because their criminal competitors in the drug world could take offense.

Between 2006 and 2008, over 12 narcocorrido musicians were murdered under mysterious circumstances. It is believed that they were killed after certain cartels took offense at their lyrics or the mention of other criminal organizations in their songs.

Top 10 choices in Hot Country Songs

1. Meant to be by Bebe Rexha

"If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be
Baby, just let it be
If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be
Baby, just let it be
So, won't you ride with me, ride with me?
See where this thing goes
If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be
Baby, if it's meant to be"

Meant to be by Bebe Rexha

2. Tequila Dan + Shay

"Cutting up the floor in a sorority t-shirt
The same one you wore when we were
Sky high in Colorado, your lips pressed against the bottle
Swearing on a bible, baby, I'd never leave ya
I remember how bad I need ya, when I taste Tequila
When I taste Tequila"

Tequila by Dan + Shay

3. Florida Georgia Line - Simple

"It's like one, two, three
Just as easy as can be
Just the way you look at me
You make me smile
Ain't no need to complicate it, we both know that's overrated
We've been there, it's safe to say it ain't our style
We're just simple like a six string
The way this world was meant to be
Like laughin' love, make a lot out of a little
Its just that simple, S-I-M-P-L-E
Simple as can be
Its just that simple, S-I-M-P-L-E
Simple as can be"

Simple by Florida Georgia Line

4. Sunrise, sunburn, sunset by Luke Bryan

"Sunrise, sunburn, sunset, repeat
Moonlight, all night, crashing into me
Nothing will ever be easy as you and me
Tangled up with nowhere to be
Just sunrise, sunburn, sunset, repeat
Sunrise, sunburn, sunset, repeat, ayy"

Sunrise, sunburn, sunset by Luke Bryan

 

5. Heaven by Kane Brown

"Everybody's talking about heaven like they just can't wait to go
Saying how it's gonna be so good, so beautiful
Lying next to you, in this bed with you, I ain't convinced
'Cause, I don't know how, I don't know how heaven, heaven
Could be better than this
Could be better than this"

Heaven by Kane Brown

6. Drowns the Whiskey by Jason Aldean ft. Miranda Lambert

"Whiskey's supposed to drown the memory
I've gone from one to one too many
And the thing that really gets me
Is how your memory drowns the whiskey"

Drowns the whiskey by Jason Aldean ft. Miranda Lambert

7. Life Changes by Thomas Rhett

"Ain't it funny how life changes
You wake up, ain't nothing the same and life changes
You can't stop it, just hop on the train and
You never know what's gonna happen
You make your plans and you hear god laughing
Life changes, and I wouldn't change it for the world, the world, oh no
And I wouldn't change it for the world, the world, oh no"

Life changes by Thomas Rhett

8. Hotel Key by Old Dominion

"She kept the hotel key
Slipped it in her purse
I guess it makes her think of me
And that night we left our hearts on our sleeves and the clothes all over the floor
We both know we can't open the door no more
She kept the hotel key"

Hotel Key by Old Dominion

9. Mercy by Brett Young

"Mercy
Why you gotta show up lookin' so good just to hurt me
Why you wanna stop this whole damn world from turning
Mercy
Why you hanging on so tight if this ain't working
Why you wanna stop this flame if it's still burning
'Cause it's still burning"

Mercy by Brett Young

10. Get Along by Kenny Chesney

"Get along, on down the road
We've got a long long way to go
Scared to live, scared to die
We ain't perfect but we try"

Get Along by Kenny Chesney

Top 10 choices in Luxury Car Brands

1. Porsche

This is not a list of the Top 10 Choices in supercars or a list of the best or most popular sportscars, but porsche belongs on these lists as well. It is a true automobile legend. It is a car with outstanding legacy. The Porsche 911 is as famous a model with a recognition bigger than any brand can hope for. Porsche will never be a householdname in autos, but eventhough they build SUVs and other family models, and the reason is that they deliver cutting-edge technology solutions, and outstanding highend craftmanship in every detail in every car that ever leaves the factory in Stuttgart, Germany.

2. Range Rover

Power, force and comfort... Yes it is a 4x4, but it is most of all a luxury car, a luxury car that will go everywhere. Its heavy, its big, it has room for everything you could possibly want to transport in a car. An engine that goes on and on. Driving and handling is a bliss.

3. Mercedes Benz

"Oh Lord wont you buy me a Mercedes Benz" does that car really deserve not only a song but also a prayer to the Lord above? If you have ever driven a Mercedes S-class, you wont hesitate to agree that it not only deserves a song but an entire opera, and an actual prayerchain. It is close to impossible to wear out a mercedes, wich in it self is remarkable, but you can say the same about a russian coldwar tank, but unlike the tank the Mercedes is pure comfort in driving, build and constructed by people who love driving, and are depended on it, which means they have thought of everything. New features in a new car of any other brand is very often a feature you can find in a Mercedes that is 10 to 15 years old, they are just always ahead.

4. BMW

BMW (bayerische motor werke) well... like Mercedes-Benz it probably doesn't really need an introduction, being more than a 100 years old, and of many car and automobile enthusiast considered one of the highest driving experiences, it is build with the sole purpose of driving for the sake og driving. Always building engines that has enough power to give you a feeling of mastering any situation on the road, and with a dedication to building rear wheel drive, its is pure joy to own, operate and drive a BMW, there is a reason it is one of the most styled, rebuild and moderated used cars  in the world.

5. Jaguar

An old brand with merits, history and great achievements, but has been able to do that and remain a carbrand that focusses on being elegant, being classy, delivering speed and muscle, but never compromising with comfort.

6. Genesis

Not the most well known brand in the general public, but the origins of the Genesis brand is known by everyone, it is the Hyundai-company that is behind this monster of a luxury car. It is a brand with pretty much no history, established in 2015, but nomatter what carcritic you talk to, they recognise that the hyundai company has succeeded in creating and building a true luxury car.

7. Lexus

Mentioned in songs, referred to in movies, it is a symbol of the extraordinary, a brand that was never designed to be anything but more than the regular. Many carbrands that today are considered high-end or luxus was originally "just" a carmanufacture and developed into more, but Lexus started out with the ambition to be more than a topmodel, it was created to be only topmodels. It is a Toyota, but it is and always was way more.

8. Volvo

REALLY? Yes... once named The Sweedish Luxus Tractor, but today Volvo is a highend, volumius luxury car, with a pricetag simimular to BMW, Mercedes, Jaguar, and performance way above the average familycarbrands like Toyota, Mazda, WV. Not only is the engines, the technology as a whole, cutting edge and setting standards for security and safety, but unlike what a lot of brands claim, you can actually drive a Volvo anywhere, it is build to survive the wild nature of Sweeden, and at the same time it is a beauty second to none in design and the comfort of actually just sitting in the car is epic.

9. Cadillac

The name alone is synonymous with the most lavish of american carhistory, and to this day it is still a carbrand that does what is humanly possible to include any kind of luxurius feature into their design and construction, creating as comfortable a carride as possible.

10. Alfa Romeo

Really? YES! REALLY! It is not the obvious choice at first, but the Alfa Romeo has been delivering racecars for decades, and always with focus on performance and driving expirience, which is why its topmodels has earned its place among the luxurybrands in cars.